Hot-Button Wedding Topics And How to Handle Them
When you’re getting married, you plan to be together forever. After all, this is the person you’ve chosen to spend the rest of your life with. That’s why it can be scary when you realize how much you’re fighting in the run-up to the wedding. Some couples even start to wonder whether they want to be together after all. No matter how long you’ve been dating, wedding planning blues can make you doubt your compatibility.
Bridal Secrets has dealt with thousands of bridal pairings, and in addition to giving you the most amazing dress, we want you to have the wedding of both your dreams. Yes, both, because as much as people say it’s the bride’s day, the groom is kind of invested too. Let’s look at some of the things couples fight about on their path down the aisle, and how to resolve them without ruining your wedding memories.
What is With That Dress?
Nobody really wants to think about the d-word during a wedding, unless the d-word is dress, in which case everyone wants to think about it. Many grooms are puzzled that their wife-to-be wants to spend thousands of dollars on a dress she will only bridal wear once. Worse, she may want multiple dresses for the same ceremony! In these cases, it’s best to give in and let the bride decide. After all, that slinky Aire Barcelona Balsamo could be the difference between your marriage lasting twenty years or twenty minutes.
Still, the budget can be a problem, so you could decide beforehand that the bride should buy her own dress. If she’s paying for it herself (or if her family and friends are funding her dress), then her groom is more likely to be gracious. Her dress, her choice. Sometimes, an overzealous or overly-doting groom may offer to pay for the dress, which means he will choose the dress budget. That rarely ends well, so if he wants to fork out his credit card, he needs to pick a different area of the budget. Same goes for the wedding cake.
Case of The Ex
Some of us want to throw our exes off the tallest cliff we can find, while others get along with them fairly well. Plus, with the world getting smaller and smaller, it’s likely that your ex is still within your circle of friends – or worse, your prospective spouse’s. Some couples believe in leaving the past in the past, so they don’t discuss previous relationships. Others want to bare it all, just so a hot ex doesn’t make a surprise appearance at a family function.
The issue can become thornier if there are children involved, because you can’t avoid interacting with your step-child’s biological parent. Sometimes, this can extend to child’s aunts, uncles, and grandparents. You don’t want the tensions erupting at the wedding, so you have to hash them out early enough. You could consider pre-marital counselling to specifically deal with the issue of exes. A simpler approach – at least in theory – is to reverse roles. Would you be okay with their ex doing what your ex is doing? Think about it …
Stag And Hen Nights
Your last night as a single should ideally be fun, wild, exciting, and without regrets, that generally means booze, strippers, and questionable decisions. First off, no matter how much you party, ensure you can make it to your wedding the next day. So, if your best man or maid of honour is a party animal, designate a more conservative chaperone to drag you to your wedding venue in a presentable state.
Secondly, just like the ex, your response to bachelor/ette parties will depend on your relationship and your trust levels. You might decide to turn a blind eye, knowing it will be last time they do whatever-they-intend-to-do. Or you could set ground rules. If you demand that there be no strippers, it’s unlikely to be followed, but you could ask your fiancé/e to look but not touch, or you could ask them to draw the line at sexual contact.
The Question of In-laws
How much of a say will (female) in-laws have in your wedding celebration? Usually, the leeway your mum and sisters get in your wedding could set the tone for how much they can interfere with your marriage, so set the tone early. You should also discuss living arrangements. If your college-age cousin or tween niece practically had keys to your bachelor/ette pad, they may not realise things have changed unless you say so explicitly.
This is something important to discuss before you carry or are carried across the threshold. It’s easier to evict a blood-related tenant before they’ve spent a month on your sofa bed, so talk this over well in advance of the honeymoon and make sure your house-sitter actually plans to leave when you get back. In fact, the second you propose, unless your spouse enjoys live-in company, start making alternate living arrangements for your related room-mates.
Read More:
How to Avoid Being Overwhelmed by Choice: The Wedding Dress Edition
